so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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