Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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