one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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