Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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