Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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