No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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