I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
