He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
