she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
