you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize