I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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