I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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