He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The air was thick with penises
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize