literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Blood and glitter go together right?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
