I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
