his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
3 2 1 whiskey
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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