she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
