I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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