I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm passing your future prison.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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