I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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