watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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