what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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