woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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