I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
