You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
