she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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