Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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