CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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