Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
