I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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