just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
