tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
