and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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