If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize