Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
