i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Houston, we have a blender
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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