After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
