Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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