wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
