Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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