My room smells like vodka and shame
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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