Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
