Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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