After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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