dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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