So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize