White coat. Heels.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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