If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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