Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
