He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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