If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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