i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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