I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize