so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
