You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
