I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
