how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
