Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
