U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This is the high leading the old right now
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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