I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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