I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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