I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
