I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
