and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Vodka?
Forever.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Such a big mess for such a small penis
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
