And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
